The Basics of Prayer

If we are honest, at times we don’t always enjoy praying. Maybe it’s the feeling we don’t pray enough or we don’t know what to pray. Some people struggle to focus. Whatever it is, praying doesn’t always come naturally and our prayer life seems to be a place of frustration and not joy!

Ruth Haley Barton in her book, Sacred Rhythms says that prayer is “how we communicate and commune with God” and that our fundamental purpose of prayer is to deepen our intimacy with God.

For Jesus, prayer was his constant connection with His Father and central to His life. Luke 5:16 is an example of that, Jesus seemed to enjoy going off to a secluded place and being with His Father. You get the sense that He never did it out of duty or obligation. The disciples, after watching Jesus pray, asked Him to teach them how to pray (Matt 6:9-13), Luke 11 v 1).

His answer was to teach them (what we call) the ‘Lord’s prayer’ as a template they could follow.

It’s a Journey to Maturity

Not only are there different types of prayer but also different stages in our prayer life. Understanding that these stages reflect the growth in our relationship with God, may help us to persevere in praying. 

• Early on in our journey, we experience intimacy with God, and it is mainly through the words we use to communicate with Him. In this stage, it is normal to pour out our hearts to Him, experience satisfaction and find praying easy.

• The next stage is more reflective, as we long to know more about God. We may read the Bible a lot more and unpack theological truths. This stage brings great rewards as we discover more about who God is and everything seems rich with clarity.

• However, there comes a stage when things don’t seem to work like before. Our study of the Bible doesn’t seem to satisfy and somehow the mystery of God makes us feel alone. Our prayer life reflects this stage in a stark and frustrating way. Our methods aren't working. In the past, we found temporary relief, but now there is a growing realisation we have no control over the situation.

Often it is this last stage that sends us into a spiral of doubt, confusion and even perhaps anger —we have been trying so hard to be faithful and the connection we once had now feels lost. Our ability to pray and connect with God seems to elude us.

An invitation

As traumatic as this may feel, it is a signal of a transition in our relationship with God. This stage is an invitation —God is calling us deeper. He wants to move us beyond methods of communication into true communion with Him.

The dictionary defines communion as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a mental or spiritual level”. Others words used to describe communion is “oneness, harmony, unity and companionship”.

This can be scary and a vulnerable experience as it exposes any type of performance in us. Deep intimacy is something we all crave, yet often resist. We prefer to read or talk about prayer, but true intimacy demands more from us, engaging our entire being. It requires us to take risks and allow others to see our weaknesses and strengths, to explore the hidden places where we may have closed ourselves off.

When we give ourselves over to another person, even in love, we cease to be in control. This person now can do the most harm or the greatest good. Our patterns of intimacy with people closely reflect our relationship with God. If we are afraid and hold back from people, then chances are we doing the same with God.

“Be still, and know that I am God” - Psalms 46 v 10 (NIV)

Prayer is the means that help move us from a place of resistance and let go of control. When we release what is not working, we realize that words are insufficient to express what our hearts truly long for. Moving us beyond techniques to experience an intimacy with Jesus that requires no words. Being in his presence becomes deeply fulfilling and satisfying.

“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God” - Psalms 42 v 1 (ESV)

When our prayer life becomes a place with no agenda (empty hands and hearts), we find we can receive all that God wants to give us. As the flow of our words slows down, a more beautiful gift emerges. We find rest, from the world, its distractions and our overactive minds stilled from trying to figure everything out. Our souls return to their natural state of delight (Eden) in God.

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. - Psalms 42:7-8 (ESV)

James Houston, a retired Professor of Spiritual Theology at Regent College, said there are four dimensions of prayer in which we communicate with God: Verbal, Meditative, Contemplative and Ecstatic. Alexander Venter says in his book “Doing Spirituality”, that our goal should be balance and growth to maturity in all four dimensions of prayer. We can see this balance from Jesus Himself in these different dimensions of prayer.

To begin we are going to look at the practice of a basic prayer using the Lord’s Prayer.

The Practice For Community

This is a practice you can do on your own, together as a family or LifeGroup.

• Start by putting all devices/phones away and get into a comfortable but alert position.

• Open your Bible and ask someone to read aloud Matthew 6:9-13 as a whole.

• A Leader to pray and invite the Holy Spirit to come

• Another person to read each section pausing in between…

Close in prayer of thankfulness that Father God has heard you.